With Good Heart

“When you are older you will understand how precious little things, seemingly of no value in themselves, can be loved and prized above all price when they convey the love and thoughtfulness of a good heart.”   – Edwin Booth.

Often you have taken initiatives to do something nice for others, may it be your parents, your siblings, friends or colleagues. And how often have they gone wrong? And how often have you felt unappreciated? You feel a piece of your inside shatter, falling down to a loud thud. So do I.

It is that necessary sense of guilt that has the power to break you. It is eating you I tell you, but building you. If you have pondered, and pondered hard in choosing the right gift that came out wrong for that friend, I tell you, you have done an amazing job.

The gift, whatever it may be, a balloon, a miniature scarecrow made from match sticks, a shell from the waters of a sea, or a Channel bag or a diamond ring, is of value regardless of the amount of manufactured paper money exchanged for it, and is of value because of the intention and heart attached to it. The joy is not in the gift itself but in the affection it symbolizes. The tears, the smiles, the laughter, the quarrels it recalls. It is to be cherished for the moments it imprisons.

If your donee, my friend, has gazed at your token with disappointment painted on the mask they wear, there may be no basis at all, to be disheartened. Alas! when has ever the heart been rational?

Where do your long face loom from? A mere acceptance camouflaging a rejection? The necessary guilt in you is what it is. The guilt that can make or break you. Embrace it. Guilt appears in those hearts that dig out the wrong in a sea of rights. Welcome the moral culpability to shape who you are. Let it teach you of not bearing a grudge but opening doors to deeper understanding with a warmer heart. And perhaps a second try. Each effort may open doors to new realizations, new paths of thoughts, and new hopes if you learn to shake off the guilt, the regrets rooted in the invisible turn-down.

You will know who treasures the imprisoned and who, the cage. You will. And you better cherish the former. This necessary guilt can set apart who are close to the heart and who aren’t, if only you are a true reader of your core.

An applause is a sweet smile of a friend. An applause is the tears strolling down a mother’s cheek in happiness. An applause is a jump in the air of a crazy little sister. An applause a kiss filled with fulfillment on a wife’s temple. These are the adulation that acknowledges the heart they reciprocate love towards.

An applause is a formal “Thank you” under the cloak of an acquaintance. An applause is a roaring thunder of claps from an audience. An applause is also an uncomfortable tight handshake for the sake of a treaty. They can hardly fathom a compassion.
What is done in good heart does not await such an applause which demands good deeds and good words. It does not recognize the heart beneath the deeds. Even the best of acts can be done with the worst of intentions. None will ever know.

The guilt rises from an unsatisfied anticipation of applause. Let it teach you, that you do not need an applause. All you need, is a good heart.